Bride's Father Says In-Laws 'Talked' Her into an Over-The-Top, $100K Wedding — and He Doesn't Want to Pay

If the groom’s parents want the wedding to be a “big splash,” should the bride’s parents have to foot the bill? One dad is currently grappling with this question — and his answer is “no.”

As his daughter prepares to tie the knot, one father is facing a financial dilemma, which he laid out in full in a post on Reddit’s “AITAH” (short for “Am I the a------”) forum, and sought users' advice. He kicked off the post by asking if he is the “a------” for not wanting to shell out $100,000 for the “princess wedding” that the groom’s parents envision.

"So my daughter is getting married ...youngest of three,” the original poster (OP) wrote, and went on to explain that his older daughter had beautiful weddings on a far lower budget.

“Our first daughter got married in 2021 and had a beautiful wedding at a rock bottom cost of [$15,000],” he wrote. “Only 75 people came because it was during covid and every vendor had low pricing just because of the times. My first daughter was thrilled and very happy!”

Now, his youngest is a bride-to-be, and she’s “being talked into this princess wedding that actually is being pushed on her because the in-laws want a big splash....very formal over the top event,” the OP said.

And the father had previously promised to provide an equal sum to each of his three daughters for their special days, he explained.

“We originally explained to the girls that we would give each one the same amount for a wedding,” he wrote, noting that now, with inflation, that figure is about $25,000 — one fourth of what the groom’s parents are requesting.

So, the OP repeated: “AITAH for not wanting to pay for something I really don't want to do?”

Rather than shelling out big bucks for the “over the top” nuptials, he would prefer to give his daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law some extra money “to help” them put a down payment on a house, he said.

“The [groom’s] parents want the big formal expense. What do I do?” he concluded the post. “My daughter says they will pay for it so let them. Not getting a good [feeling] about all this.”

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In response to the OP’s dilemma, most users agreed that if the groom’s parents are willing to foot the bill, they should do it — not the bride’s.

“If they plan to [pay] for every single expense and your daughter is willing to go along with it, let them have at it,” the top response says. “What your daughter is going to find out is that she will have no say. Take whatever you were going to give them and give it to them as a gift after the wedding. You are NTA [not the ------].”

Another user seconded this message, adding: “This. Give the same amount as your other daughters and step back. The rest doesn't involve you.”

Still others agreed, advising the OP to let the groom’s parents “waste” their money on the extravagant ceremony, should they please. “NTA. You made it clear to your kid how much you're willing to spend. if the Inlaws want fancy and say they'll pay for it, LET THEM!!

“If they want to waste their money let them,” another echoed. “But they can't force you too. Save your money and help them buy a house. [It’s] more meaningful anyway. NTA.”