Woman Accuses Her 'Too Old' Friend of Being ‘Selfish’ for Wanting a Third Baby at Age 42

• Woman admits she thinks her 42-year-old friend is "too old" to have a baby
• She says she pretended to be excited when the friend told her she was trying to conceive, but she secretly thinks the friend is being "selfish"
• The woman took to a community forum to ask other women if they agree with her perspective, and many commenters accused her of being judgmental

A woman admitted that she secretly thinks her friend is “too old” to have a baby — and a lot of other women say she should keep her opinion to herself.

The woman detailed her friend’s situation in the “Am I Being Unreasonable?” forum on the U.K. community site Mumsnet. She begins her post by explaining that she is writing under an anonymous username because she knows her post may be “controversial,” adding, “but I need to get this off my chest.”

The original poster (OP) then goes on to say that a friend of hers “just announced” that she is trying to conceive. The OP’s issue? The friend is 42.

“She already has two [children] (youngest is 10) and has suddenly decided she ‘really wants one last baby.’ I know it’s her life, her choice, but I can’t help but feel like it’s too old,” the OP says.

The OP continued: “I had my last [child] at 38, and even then, I found the sleepless nights brutal. I can’t imagine doing it in my 40s. Also, by the time the child is a teen, she’ll be in her late 50s! And I hate to say it, but the risks of pregnancy complications and things like Down’s syndrome are much higher at that age.”

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The woman says that while she pretended to be excited for her friend when she heard the news, she actually feels “like it’s a bit selfish” that she’s attempting to have a third child at this stage in life.

The woman concludes her post by asking, “AIBU [Am I being unreasonable]?” while adding, “Not trying to be a cow, just genuinely wondering if I’m the only one who feels this way?”

A number of commenters were quick to chime in and let the OP know that, yes, they did in fact, think she was being unreasonable.

“Trying to formulate a diplomatic response and not having a huge amount of success. I will just say that women have been having babies [in] their 40’s since women have been having babies and just because you couldn’t hack the sleepless nights doesn’t mean no one else can,” wrote one person.

“Maybe your friend is way tougher than you, OP?” added someone else.

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Others noted that while they personally did not think they could cope with a baby in their 40s, it is ultimately none of their business what others do with their lives.

“Each to their own!!!!,” said one person. “For me the thought of going back to babies and [diapers] and teething and sleepless nights when my youngest was 10 would be my idea of hell!!!!!! I wouldn’t have had the energy to do this and combine the needs of my teenager, tweenager and a new baby - but that is me! If she wants another child and has the time, energy, health and finances to do so - good on her! Live and let live!”