Bride’s Mom Calls Her Out for Not Serving Cake to Wedding Guests: 'That's What You Do'

A bride-to-be is looking for advice after she and her mother butted heads over her decision not to serve wedding cake to her guests.

The bride shared in a post on Reddit’s popular Am I the A------ forum that she and her fiancé have decided they want to have a personal cake for their wedding. The couple plans to serve another dessert to their guests — possibly cupcakes or cookies — but her mom is not a fan of the plan.

“We are opting for a more simple wedding and taking the 'less-is-more' approach on most, but not all, things,” the bride wrote. “I would like to have a small personal wedding cake for my fiancé and myself to enjoy. It’s one thing that is just for us.”

As for why she decided against having two separate cakes, she didn't like the idea from an "aesthetic" standpoint. However, she "would like to have something else instead for guests to enjoy."

Her mom is not onboard with her daughter's nontraditional dessert decision. The bride wrote that her mother said she was in the wrong for “not wanting cake for the guests,” because “that’s what you do for a wedding.” 

“According to my mother…  I’m slighting the experience of the guests by not having it,” she continued. “She is unhappy with the thought of any other dessert for guests besides cake, and has expressed much distaste in that choice.”

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The bride added that she and her fiancé didn’t feel like they were “shorting the guests on food by any means” as they plan to serve six appetizers, two entrée dinners with two sides, salad, rolls and unlimited wine, plus an open bar. 

“I doubt with the portion sizes and scale of the dinner service that the guests will be left hungry,” she explained.

Reddit users appeared to be torn in their responses with some agreeing that it was not necessary for the bride and groom to provide cake for their guests, while others were firmly on team wedding cake. Overall, commenters seemed united on the idea that cookies would be a poor choice for a dessert at a wedding.

One person commented, “Cupcakes are the same thing as cake. I wouldn’t bat an eye at that. But cookies are not. I love cookies, but if you’re looking to do a comparable dessert, stick with cupcakes.”

Another Reddit user wrote, “Wedding cake has deep enough roots that doing something else as guest dessert will be noticeable and may offend some. Like, I would notice and think it was a little odd to have a cookie when they are having cake.”

Others suggested that the bride consider using sheet cakes, which are easier to serve for a larger number of guests.

One person added, “I look forward to cake at weddings! I would definitely be disappointed if I didn’t get any at a wedding, especially if I saw the bride and groom eating some. You could easily have sheet cakes in the back that are cut for guests.”

Some commenters also suggested not having a cake at the wedding at all to avoid the awkwardness with guests.

“I've been to many weddings where no wedding cake was served (including my own son’s) and no one felt slighted... but there also wasn't a cake just for the bride and groom,” one user pointed out.