Woman Says Her Mother-in-Law Never Offers to Split the Bill

Woman Says Her Mother-in-Law Never Offers to Split the Cost of Their Catch-Ups: ‘Money Is Tighter Than It Used to Be'

A woman complained on Mumsnet that her mother-in-law always expects her to pay when they go out together

Published on March 8, 2025 04:30AM EST

Irritated people at restaurant — Woman at restaurant (stock image). Photo:
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Having to foot the bill for every outing she has with her mother-in-law has left one woman frustrated.

On March 2, she raged about the situation in a post on the UK-based forum Mumsnet writing under the username Starry4321. The woman said she “regularly” goes for lunch and does other activities with her mother-in-law, who never offers to share the expense.

“DH [dearest husband] and I have a 1 year old and money is tighter than it used to be right now, which is why I think this has started to bother me,” the woman wrote.

“When she stayed this weekend, we did a couple of things, and when the bill arrived she just sat waiting for us to pay without offering her part,” she continued. “We also went to a museum and she again waited for us to pay, despite this being something she suggested.”

Stock image of restaurant bill — Restaurant bill (stock image).
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The woman said she always ensures there’s food at home to cook when her mother-in-law visits.

However, inevitably, they will also go out as “everyone wants to go and do something” that involves her child.

“AIBU [am I being unreasonable] for wishing she would at least offer?” the woman asked of her complaint about splitting expenses.

Responses to the post were divided with many people asking the woman if her husband has made his mom aware that their financial situation has changed since they had a child.

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Stock image of a mother and daughter in law at a dining table — Woman and mother-in-law (stock image).
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Several commenters advised the woman to opt for free activities or to see her mother-in-law less if she isn’t willing to discuss money with her.

One person wrote, “Spring is coming. Trips to the playground, to the woods to see bluebells, the park to see the ducks and swans. Take a nice packed lunch and say you will get coffee in a cafe later but you are needing to cut spending. And see if she offers to pick up the tab for a change.”

Another said, “No wonder she likes staying with you, if it's all expenses paid! In the future, no expensive outings. Go to the park and take a flask of coffee. If she complains, just say that you and OH [other half] are trying to cut back on unnecessary expenditure.”

A third suggested, “I’d just start saying, right that’s $x each and then when the bill comes in a restaurant, and just pay your own entry to museums etc. She’s rude to expect you to pay.”