Tom Schwartz Struggled to Accept Katie Maloney Leaving Months Before Divorce Filing: 'I'm Lying to Myself'

On Thursday's Winter House, Vanderpump Rules star Tom Schwartz was coming to terms with the end of his marriage to Katie Maloney — in particular, the role he played in the relationship's demise.

When Schwartz and his Vanderpump costar Tom Sandoval traveled to Stowe, Vermont, for the Bravo reality series this past January, the Tom Tom owner, 40, had a heart-to-heart with Summer House star Kyle Cooke about everything "going on lately" in his life that had created distance from Maloney, 35.

"We're trying to open the new bar," Schwartz said of his and Sandoval's latest venture Schwartz & Sandy's. "My dad being sick. He's been in the hospital for, like, 96 days. I mean, I'm wracked with guilt that I can't be with my dad more often."

Schwartz continued, "This also has a negative impact on my relationship with Katie. I'm like, in my own little stress bubble."

Schwartz then admitted to the cameras that "things aren't great back home."

"But I'm still optimistic," he said before pausing and admitting, "which is a lie, probably because I think I'm lying to myself."

He shared, "It's the most stressed out I've ever been in my life. The family, the bar. So, yeah, by necessity, I've been a little lackluster, for sure."

Schwartz further admitted to Cooke, 40: "I haven't been a good husband. I haven't been a good friend."

Later in the episode, Schwartz told Cooke he'd been "guilty of not putting enough work" into his marriage. "I've been so absorbed in my own little world," he said. "You can't do that to your partner for an extended period of time."

He said his relationship with Maloney had become "complicated" and "a lot to unpack." After acknowledging he'd been "mediocre," Schwartz cautioned, "Don't be like me."

"To be completely honest, at this point, Katie has actually left," Schwartz then said in a confessional. "She's actually formally sat me down and divorced me, but I'm still kind of not ready to admit it to my friends or to myself even. There's some real high stakes emotions that I'm sort of bottling up right now and you know, it's not easy."

After 12 years together, Schwartz and Maloney announced their separation in March via Instagram. Their divorce was settled in September.

Addressing the breakup on her You're Gonna Love Me podcast, Maloney opened up about what ultimately caused the split.

"There wasn't some kind of crazy incident that happened, there wasn't some crazy fight that resulted in this. It was my decision, which was probably the hardest and most painful decision I've ever had to make," she previously said through tears. "The best and only way I can describe it is just like waking up inside of my life and having this voice that just became louder and louder, and just events in my life and our relationship coming into focus and feeling the weight of them on me."

Maloney continued, "I love Tom, we built a life together, and he was my person and I wanted to be him with forever. But ultimately, I just wasn't happy."

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Winter House airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. ET on Bravo.