The Random Recollections of Birthday Boy - part 3
Recollections part three
He yelped and jumped again as her whip bit into him. Hell, he was doing his best, but the fucking plough was stuck in the unyielding mud. Why couldn’t the bitch see that she was near enough to it, wasn’t she? Did the little sadist not realise how hard it was to drag the damn stupid thing when it dug down deep like that? It was hard enough when the fucking dirt was bone dry and powdery in summer!
He knew the answer to both questions very well, so it would have been pointless to ask them even if he could and he couldn’t. He could not say a single coherent word, not with that bit and pressure plate in his mouth put there by the teenage brat behind him wielding that fucking god-awful whip!
Three times more, the impatient whip cracked painfully against him as he strained to pull the plough blade forward, and then she shouted, “Whoa, whoa, boy!” The pressure of the reins on his bit relaxed, and she was beside him, gripping his bridle in her gloved hand. He wanted to twist his head around and glare at her, show his anger, express himself that way since she’d effectively turned him into a dumb animal, but she’d denied him that ability also.
His head tilted slightly upwards by the heavy leather collar locked around his neck, his chin resting on a small, padded lip. The wretched thing held his head virtually immobile, allowing just a few degrees of movement in any direction. What to a normal person would have been a simple, spontaneous body movement was a far more complicated exercise for him. He had to use his body, twisting his torso or bending forward or backwards, even a combination of such movements.
Not that he dared do that now. The same small hands that had silenced him had also locked the terrible posture collar on him and now held his bridle and a whip. The hands that belonged to Kelly, his teenage owner and anything other than a rigid, motionless acquiescent stance would not be tolerated by the girl! One thing he’d learnt over the last two years was that Kelly did not do tolerance, her response inevitably swift and savage to any lapses on his part.
Total and absolute obedience always was her rule and one she’d mercilessly enforced over the past two years! Two whole years of his life were gone forever, stolen from him by the evil brat’s parents when they handed him to her as a birthday gift to do with as she wished, like a pet puppy. Only he wasn’t treated like a pet puppy, far from it!
“Yes,” he heard her snap. She must have her damn phone out again. He’d heard the Spice Girls ring tone, ‘What I want, what I really really want’ God, how many times had he listened to that irritating jingle?
“What, I’m busy. I’ve got Trooper out in the second field. He’s just been difficult again and needs some serious encouragement! You're kidding me? He’s here now? Really, what a chump! Oh, yes, I know. I suppose I’ll have to if he’s here. I can deal with this big donkey's laziness later, alright, don’t panic. I’m coming in!” She replied in a sulky-sounding tone.
He felt the hand gripping his bridle slacken, then let go as she grunted irritably, and then he screamed into his bit as two strokes of fire curled around the top of one thigh and the other. “Stand, stay, boy! Don’t you move so much as fucking inch, you pathetic excuse for a workhorse? Don’t think that I will forget your lack of effort!” Kelly snarled, and he heard her squelch away behind him, muttering to herself. Saved by the bell or a ringtone again, but for how long? She’d sounded thoroughly peeved about something which didn’t bode well for him. He’d been the whipping boy far too many times in the past when she was in one of her sulky ill-tempered moods, and in his case, it wasn’t a mere figure of speech but a painful practical reality!
A girl who owned a captive, helpless human animal like him, a sadistic brat who possessed a whipping bench and a complete arsenal of punitive implements, had the means to work off a whole range of personal teenage frustrations, hadn’t she? It was a simple formula. Her whip, his pain, her amusement, his anguished howls and at the end, Kelly felt better, and him, well, she didn’t give a damn about how he felt and hadn’t since that very first morning!
He shivered. It was still cold, but at least he wasn’t getting wet, although he had a hunch Kelly wouldn’t return very soon. He shivered again and then tried to relax his body. He needed to conserve his energy and not waste it. He had a feeling that once she did return, she might call it a day but not before she’d made him drag that fucking plough blade free. Drag it free under duress provided by her. She was the one who controlled the damn handles and was supposed to steer the primitive device, but it came down to a straightforward fact over which he had neither control nor input. Her pride and his hide! He’d learned that two years ago as his mind switched moodily back to the past once more.
He’d thought himself tough, but he’d been proved wrong that first day, that first morning, even the first hour! Proved wrong by a slip of a girl a mere fraction of his size, weight and build. He could run, carry a full pack load for miles, do pushups and pull-ups with the best PTI’s back at camp, and even outdo some of them. He was proud of his near six-pack belly and had a shit load of stamina. He’d also been trained to a limited extent in the pitfalls of interrogation and similar under enforced duress. Unfortunately, no one had prepared him for the prolonged repetitive impact of a wooden paddle or a bamboo cane upon his naked backside and thighs wielded by an enthusiastic teenage sadist!
Not that he’d had the slightest inkling of what was soon to happen as he stood unsteadily under that lightweight golden mantle fighting off nausea and vertigo with those ominous words still resounding in his head, spoken so casually by the guy who’d been behind him! Was the fucker serious? Would he actually do that to him?
The silly happy birthday duet had ceased abruptly as the golden cloth was dragged away, leaving him blinking blearily for a second while someone clapped their hands, and a youthful voice cried aloud in a delighted scream, “Wowzer, but he’s a big one!”
The husband and wife were standing to one side, holding hands and smiling benignly in a rather self-satisfied congratulatory way, but neither of them was looking at him, so he swung around as that sweet young voice said, sounding awed, “Wow, like mega cool! My, but you have caught a biggie for me, haven’t you!”
He hadn’t spotted her immediately because that crazy couple caught his eye first with their stupid song and then the height difference, him standing six feet plus the additional elevated inches those awkward boots provided. She couldn’t have been more than five feet, even from the soles of her trainers to the top of her blonde head.
His bewildered, slightly unfocussed eyes had moved down, still not comprehending the situation. Long somewhat wavy blonde hair, sparkling blue eyes, dimpled cheeks, and a broad smile revealing gleaming white teeth marred by a corrective metal dental brace across the upper set. A tight white crop top, a wide strip of tanned bare skin, a navel piercing, ripped denim hipster jeans, and pink trainers. She was also bouncing from foot to foot with excitement and clapping her hands together, and giggling like crazy.
Her youthful glee was infectious, and he found himself smiling down at her or trying to only whatever was in his mouth wasn’t helping. His brain was working better but not with any consistent clarity. Cute was his first thought, sexy was his second and way too young was his third. The sort of girl he’d have dreamed of having as a regular girlfriend maybe a decade and a bit ago. Indeed, he felt strange, as though he was dreaming, like time had somehow slowed, turning into one of those annoying fuzzy, ethereal scenes they have in movies. His puzzled eyes moved back to the couple, the gorgeous woman. The girl looked like…like a younger version, and he strove hard to pin something down. Hadn’t the woman said something about a daughter in the car?
He seemed to be in two places at once, his head swimming in bewilderment that only focused fully and briefly when his face exploded in pain, and that was something to be avoided at all costs! He was a part of what was happening around him, and he was not; it was so bloody disorientating. That was one thing he did know for sure! He also sensed something else, that he should be terrified and that fear was rooted in his body’s seeming immobility. That awareness grew more potent by the second as that fog in his head started burning away, but consistent, rational thought still eluded him.
The three of them were laughing, hugging, kissing, exchanging excited birthday greetings, and playing happy families! He watched the lively little scene without the slightest comprehension. Looking back, how stupid he must have been, but at the time, realisation had been slow to come to the fore in his befuddled state. Happy birthday, a present, the woman had told him. They were looking for a birthday present for their daughter. He remembered that. They’d said that to him as they started off after he’d told them what he was doing. He remembered how the guy had turned around and looked at his wife, both of them suddenly laughing after he'd asked them what sort of present. He’d even politely joined in, although he didn’t understand the joke. His mind was beginning to click slowly into gear.
A present! Happy families and all three were looking at him now, and he was standing, no, wobbling about and all trussed up like an oven-ready chicken. Too young, that’s what the woman had said. Something about being too young last year. His fucking head ached like hell. He felt like he was putting his brain through a lemon squeezer, but slowly, every word, every damn word, was returning to him. That was when she’d poured coffee from the flask and passed the steaming cup over to him, smiling sweetly as she explained.
We said no to her last year. Still too young, we decided, even though she was so mature in many other ways and knew precisely what she wanted. Kelly has always been like that. We told her she’d have to be patient and wait another year until she was at least of legal age. The woman had laughed and said something about ‘good parenting and not giving your kids adult toys’. Kenya, that’s what the woman had said next. They went on a safari to Kenya instead! On an expensive five-star luxury camping tour, looking at all the animals out in the wild. That being the next best thing to owning a wild animal of her own!
His eyes had gone wide at that point, and things began to swing into focus, not just visually. No way! A pony, that’s what she’d wanted a pony. He’d even joked about that. Every little girl wants a pony, and he’d laughed. The gorgeous mother had looked at him directly; he remembered that curious kind of funny look on her face before she laughed. Then she’d added, oh, Kelly’s not that little anymore, and she’s a fusspot. She wants a particular type of pony, an exceptional pony that will be hard to come by unless we get lucky, and I think we have been!
He stood swaying uncertainly, his mind slowly returning to normal. Recollections. That entire thought process, a clear recall, had flashed through his mind instantly as he looked at the three of them, now all looking back at him. The absurd expressions on the parent's faces, that cloth over him like a wrapping, a gift wrapping, then that silly kid's song. No, no way! That was absurd, ridiculous, impossible, and he didn’t like the expression on that pretty blonde’s teen face. He didn’t like it one bit!
He noted that the older woman was a beauty, like a mature glossy magazine model, now wearing immaculate full makeup. She walked toward him and took hold of that thin leather leash again. He was about to shy away when he remembered the agony if he pulled on it and instead leaned forward, which made her smile but not with any warmth, not for him. Her expression changed immediately, he noted, as she beckoned to her daughter and offered her the leash with a beaming smile that completely contrasted with the cold one she’d just given him.
That infectious happy feeling he’d felt a moment ago had evaporated as he looked at the young girl. The daughter was gazing at him with a hungry predatory look that scared the hell out of him even though she was half his size and ten-plus years younger. She was also cute, sexy and evidently less than a day away from being jailbait! She was also free, whereas he was trussed up like an oven-ready turkey with a face that could explode in agony at someone else’s whim.
“All yours, darling, just as we promised. Bigger and older than you asked for, a grown stallion rather than a young colt, but I think you will enjoy owning it all the more. Perhaps a little bit more of a challenge to train it, so please be extra careful, and as we promised, no interference unless you want, darling! Happy birthday from mummy and daddy. I’m sure you will have lots of fun, just remember…”
He never found out what she had to remember because his head and the world exploded in pain again. A wave of intense agony stretched from his nasal cavity down a thin leather strip to a small hand with long bright pink nails that had eagerly yanked the leash out of her mother’s hand. It had been his first introduction to the same small feminine hand that would enthusiastically deliver copious amounts of pain all over his body in the dreadful months to come. That thought brought him back to the present and the latest red-hot stripes she’d recently added to his naked buttocks.
Not that they helped keep him warm. Relaxing his muscles or trying to hadn’t helped and now he was shivering uncontrollably and slowly shuffled his feet around in the mud so that he turned enough so that he could see the house out of the corner of his eye if he leaned forward. No damn movement, nothing, and he could feel the odd spot of rain to make things worse. Life in that fucking stable wasn’t up to much, wasn’t even living at all, but it was still better than standing about like this. Of course, that was so long as he wasn’t secured to that bloody bench! His mind drifted back to that first session.
He remembered every humiliating minute of it, every painful second seared into his memory, never to be eradicated. A lot of it, indeed most of his insane unfair, illegal captivity, had thankfully faded into that trough of black melancholic depression that was so frequently his constant companion these days. Day followed day with monotonous regularity, and each an eternity of mind-numbing tedium that threatened his sanity—punctuated only by so many humiliations, degradations, and frequent painful beatings. So much so that they had almost become commonplace, at least in as far as they ever could!
However, he would never forget that first morning, that first time he’d been secured and made to suffer on that leather padded frame she called her punishment bench. That was a misnomer if ever there was one, for it wasn’t her punishment bench, was it? No, it was his!
His sinus region was a mass of pain and blotting everything out bar that thin leash stretching out in front of him that he followed blindly, awkwardly, shuffling forwards on his strange clumsy footwear. His mind was still reeling, but his focus was simply on not allowing that strip of leather to go tight again, no way.
“Don’t worry, mummy. I’m not stupid. I’m sure you did a good job tacking it up ready for me, but I’ll treble-check its harness and tack once I have it on my bench. Its days of roaming free in the wild are over. It’s like really cool, and I love it” he heard a giggle. “I adore how big it is, but you know what they say about bigger and falling, and I intend to make this beautiful big beast fall like mega hard! Wowzer, OMG, I can’t believe that you guys actually got me one!”
He was not even aware of the bench that morning, at least not at first. He’d followed that awful leash, seen it casually wrapped around something and then realised he’d automatically leaned forward and was laying on something cold and a little clammy, a leather-covered surface. He could smell it and was bent forward at the waist, and a moment later, he felt something draped across his back just below his folded arms and then gasped as it was pulled tight, pinning him upon the flat padded surface. Then one leg was grabbed, pulled sideways, and secured, similarly followed by the other. Later, he would obediently respond to a simple slap on his bottom and automatically place his legs in the required position to be secured even though he knew what would soon follow. Any hesitation and it would only be worse!
“Easy peasy,” the daughter said from behind him and then giggled. “You know how much I hate that horrible cooking and nutrition course l foolishly opted for this year. Thank heavens I can ditch it next term for some revision periods” He felt a hand pat and then fondle his naked right buttock and heard another girlish giggle. “As of today, I’ll be cooking this delicious piece of meat regularly. I can’t believe you guys went out there and caught one for me. I mean, like, Yipes, this animal is so damn cool! Jeez, I mean, it’s one awesome fucking big butch stallion!”
He stiffened in horror as he felt a small curious hot hand encircle his captive cock and then cup his balls, causing him to twitch futilely against whatever was holding his private parts imprisoned down there. He yelped into that bar that filled his mouth as his ball sac was squeezed painfully, and he knew who’d done it from the girlish giggle accompanied by a coarse laugh from the girl's father.
“The keys to its chastity device are on that silver chain hanging on that last hook on your toy shelf should you need them, Sweetie. A trifle tight, but I suspect a little discomfort down there will soon be the least of its worries!”
He yelped in agony as a finger pressed upon the tip of his penis, which was starting to hurt and somehow felt distinctly odd. He yelped again as pain lanced through him as a sharp, inquisitive fingernail dug into that tender, intimate spot.
“Are you sure that it's not too tight? He’s bleeding a little and seems very sensitive. ”
“Oh, Nothing to worry about, Honey. That’s a very responsive area, and I expect the local anaesthetic I applied is wearing off. That chastity cage allows the bulbous head of his stallion to be proudly displayed, so I circumcised him before fitting it. I think the effect is quite pleasing, plus I can also put another ring through there if you want an additional leashing point?”
It was then that full, one hundred per cent coherent reasoning returned to him. What else when someone casually mentions that they’ve recently taken a knife to your manhood while her cute giggling little brat is digging an overlong acrylic talon into said painful handiwork?
He’d exploded into a muted torrent of abusive verbal outrage, most of which failed to get past the impediment in his mouth, and what did emerge had been rendered mutely incoherent. Nor, despite sudden frantic efforts as his senses came to life, could he do anything other than wriggle helplessly against the restraints that bound his body. The straps holding him face down upon that leather, whatever it was, table thing hardly yielded. Even as he protested and struggled, he was still conscious of that thin strip of leather that led from his nose to that little cleat and the need to keep it slack at all costs!
He was absolutely helpless, and the full implications of that began to seep into all corners of his mind. He wasn’t stupid, a giggling teenage girl had just played with his cock, and there wasn’t a thing he could do to stop her. Hell, he could not even touch that bloody thing through his nose, let alone protect his private parts or any other part of his body. He stiffened as her hand touched his right buttock lightly, squeezed his flesh for a moment, and then slapped him and not all that lightly. This time there was no accompanying giggle, only another proprietary squeeze.
“My, you two darlings have a good eye for an animal! I never doubted for one moment that you’d get me one, but I’d half expected some piddling little drugged-up stinky street bum, not this magnificent beast!”
“Well, it's a big ocean, Sweetie. I suppose we could always throw him back and find you a tiddler instead,” he heard the woman laugh.
He winced as his buttock cheek was squeezed again, and this time, he felt her nails digging into his skin, followed by a couple more propriety pats. “No thanks, Mummy, this one will do nicely!” Then she giggled. “What was it, old Mister Hodges told us the other week in cookery class, that big fish take longer to catch and cook but are always worth the effort, or something like that!” He felt another pat and heard another silly girlish giggle. “What was it before you caught it?”
“Some sort of soldier,” the guy said and chuckled, “tough guy, Honey, so it might be a bit of a challenge!”
He yelped into that hard rubber bar filling his mouth again as she slapped his bottom and pinched him. It wasn’t the slap, for he hardly felt that, but the way she nipped his flesh with those nails. She’d meant it to hurt, and it had—a fact she immediately confirmed.
“I don’t think so, Daddy, wimp or warrior, no difference! This soft hide will react the same way once I start applying heat to it! Anyway, so much better if it does pose more of a challenge. It might take a little longer, but, Trooper here isn’t going anywhere soon, or for that matter, ever, are you, boy?” and even though she laughed, the accompanying slap of her palm on his bottom was no affectionate love pat!
“Trooper?” Two voices chorused in unison, sounding amused.
“Why not? It just kinda came to me and sounds sort of soldierly, doesn’t it? I like it, Trooper! Tough guy, eh? Well, maybe it’s time to find out how tough. I’ve waited a long time for this. Are you two going to hang around and watch the fun begin?”
“Just for a bit, Honey. Not to interfere or anything. I don’t know about Daddy, but I’m a little curious. Not every day do you see your little girl start playing with her new pony. You don’t mind?”
He jumped against his restraints as she nipped him again. “Feel free, guys. I’ve no objections, and I’m sure, Trooper here hasn’t. Have you, boy?” This time he howled into his mouth bar and bucked hard enough to hurt himself against those unforgiving straps or whatever they were that secured him. It had not been his buttocks cheek she’d pinched but his ball sac, and it had fucking hurt! A fact that the little bitch obviously found amusing from the delighted giggle she uttered. There was another light proprietorial slap to his right buttock cheek, and then she moved away to his right.
He watched incredulously as Kelly approached the numerous implements dangling so innocently from their respective hooks. There were dozens of them, well at least twenty, and hanging there, they looked so innocuous, like bizarre theatrical props or odd ornaments rather than what they really were. In later months he would look back on that moment, well not exactly in amusement, more incredibility that he could have been so naïve at that moment given everything else!
He strained against the straps holding him but to no avail and unintentionally pulled on that dreadful nasal tether. He twisted his head in agony to look the other way and saw the parents watching, the man impassively almost bored, the mother smoking a cigarette and watching her daughter with a benign smile. Her eyes flickered down to meet his gaze as she raised the cigarette to her lips and then exhaled a cloud of blue-grey smoke gazing at him almost with amusement, then turned back to watch her daughter.
He stared are her for a second in anger, then carefully twisted his head back the other way. Jeez, the little miss had a cute bum on her, hadn’t she? The obligatory cell phone was sticking out of the same back pocket as every other teen girl on the street. Shit, why the hell was, he was he thinking like that? He was about to shake his head violently to clear it when he remembered that damn tether in time.
Like her mother a moment ago, she must have sensed his eyes on her, for she turned away from the rack and looked back at him for a second or two without displaying any hint of emotion. A cool, calculating, thoughtful look on her pretty face as her eyes briefly met his and then roamed all over him.
He tried to say something, but whatever was filling his mouth and pressing upon his tongue prevented it so that he could only produce more incomprehensible sounds. Later he couldn’t even remember what he’d been trying to say. Kelly smiled at the noise and strolled back towards him, stopping just a few feet away. She bent down, reaching out to gently brush some of his hair to one side where it had fallen over his eyes while staring at him and smiling, showing both dimples and those perfect gleaming white teeth. Why the need for the brace, he wondered absently, then shook his head at the foolish irrelevant thought.
Her smile grew broader, and the eyes showed amusement as he endeavoured to communicate, and her hand reached out again, one pink artificial talon tapping on the thing in his mouth as though to quiet him, a mother hushing her noisy child! Then she straightened up and, with a prolonged and deliberate movement, pulled at her skimpy top as though smoothing it or vainly trying to cover the wide strip of sun-bronzed belly exposed between it and her low-slung denim hipsters. That wasn’t her intention, though, and he knew it. Kelly was giving him a full-on and not-very-subtle reminder of her age and sex right in his face as he lay impotently before her, although at that point, he wasn’t fully aware of just how impotent they’d rendered him.
Kelly giggled, straightened fully upright, reached into a pocket, pulled out a packet of chewing gum, selected a stick, slowly peeled away the wrapper, and placed it in her mouth. Her eyes had never left him, and she seemed to radiate an aura of confidence, even authority, that he found slightly strange and disturbing in some way. He was also aware that his mind was still whirling around in confusion, mingled with a hefty dollop of residual disbelief at what seemed to be happening. NO, WHAT WAS FUCKING HAPPENING?
He watched the girl’s jaws move as she chewed, her eyes still watching him; then her expression changed abruptly to sneering contempt, and she turned suddenly, walking back to the nearby rack. His eyes followed still without any clear understanding as she ran her hand over different things, taking her time before making a selection and occasionally glancing back at him with that same derisive expression. Only when she turned, and he saw what she was looking at did that full ice-cold realisation finally hit him. The full implication of everything that had gone before, that conversation in the car, his bizarre awakening, and the recent dialogue he had heard.
The girl, Kelly, walked back slowly, deliberately slowly, even provocatively, the way she sashayed her hips. Christ, the little bitch was teasing him even with her parents watching; she was suggestively flaunting herself. No, not teasing, taunting him, for even as he began to react, he realised while body and spirit were willing, whatever contraption contained his cock wasn’t inclined to allow him that freedom, and it hurt, jeez, it fucking well hurt!
“I think he likes you, Sweetie”, he heard the woman laugh. “Come and take a peek at what’s trying to grow beyond its means!”
He was distracted, so he turned to look at her and didn’t see what Kelly was doing, but then she was behind him, and he flinched as something thin and hard was pressed against his scrotum and sawed back and forth, making him wince into his mouth gag.
“I don’t find that so amusing, Mummy. Quite the opposite, in fact!” Kelly’s voice suddenly took on a hard edge. “I find that most disrespectful. I have no intention of becoming a wank object for this animal’s primitive lust. Not now and not ever, and as of this moment, Trooper here is going to start learning what I mean by respect!”
Her youthful voice had risen to a near-angry screech, and she virtually spat out the word respect. A second later, something hard and flat smacked down upon his right buttock cheek that hurt like hell to be repeated three times more in rapid succession. Then there was a pause allowing him to take a few deep startled breaths as his brain grappled with the crazy situation. A teenage brat was beating him, and there was nothing he could do to prevent it, nothing plus it bloody well hurt!
Then the girl was bending over by his head, he could smell the warmth of her body along with a light spicy scent, her fingers busy at the side of his head, and suddenly his mouth and tongue were finally free. It took him a second or two to realise that, and then he swallowed and finally found he could express himself at full volume and promptly did just that using every foul barrack room obscenity he’d ever heard, plus a few he invented on the spot!
“Oh, my goodness”, the woman exclaimed, holding her hands over her ears in mock horror. “I think that was a big mistake, dear!”
Her words halted the flow of random invective, and he twisted his head to look at her. “What the hell is this? Just what the fuck do you think you’re playing at in this madhouse? What….”
He never finished the third sentence, for even as he started protesting, he heard a curious swishing sound and then screamed in agony as a red hot rod seared across his buttock cheeks. The swish and red hot rod repeated another five times in quick succession, as did his accompanying yells of agony. That hurt, oh christ, that hurt, and he told them so in a few more choice words.
He heard the man chuckle. “Interesting vocabulary. Maybe I’ll learn a few new choice words?”
“Well, save them for your golfing buddies and not around the house, dear. You know how I loath that sort of thing!” Then the woman laughed. “Looks like those tennis lessons will come in handy after all, Honey. Your forehand is decidedly impressive!”
He’d been about to say something, but their casual, matter-of-fact attitude amazed him and rendered him momentarily speechless as effectively as that thing dangling by its strap down one side of his head. They were both crazy; he was in this madhouse with them and, worse, helpless.
“Who knows, Mummy? Maybe by the time, Trooper here has learned that animals like him don’t ever talk or think, my left arm will be as good as my right! Ambidextrous, perhaps? I think my arms are going to get in a lot of exercise! Very healthy, for me anyway!” the girl laughed. “For now, I want to hear my new pet sing for me as he will every day. This is the best present, and the two of us will have much fun with the paddle and cane for the next few hours.
“Well, I’m glad you're happy, but it's likely to get way too noisy in here for me, so see you later, Honey.”
He watched open-mouthed as the guy turned on his heel and walked away just like that without a backward glance at the bizarre situation behind him. Even worse, his wife called after him.
“Oh, while we’re on the subject of cooking, you can pop the roast in the oven for me. It should be hot enough by now, oh and feed the cat. It’s probably back by now, and will be hungry.”
He was stunned into complete silence. It was beyond surreal. Mr and Mrs, everyday average, were playing happy families while their daughter, Bessie the beater…he felt something poke him in the ribs and turned to see Kelly standing beside him holding a long thin cane. That's what had made the swishing sound and seared his bottom with lines of fire that still hurt like fuck. He opened his mouth to say something, but she preempted him by shaking her head and raising a finger to her lips and at the same time, the tip of the cane tapped him gently on the mouth.
“What the fuck? Look here; this is fucking crazy. You can’t do this. I don’t know what you think…yeeahhhh!”
Kelly had clicked her tongue, raised her eyes brows in disapproval and moved behind him, her arm sweeping upwards then downwards to prove she could do that!