Rosie O’Donnell Was 'Very Afraid' for Her Child Clay, Who Has Autism, Before Service Dog Kuma Changed Their Life (Exclusive)

• Rosie O'Donnell says a service dog named Kuma helped 'save' her 12-year-old child, Clay, who is autistic
• Before Kuma joined their family, O'Donnell says they lived an 'isolated' life and she was 'scared' for Clay
• The comedian, who says her family is 'very, very happy' in their new home in Ireland, has a new documentary, Unleashing Hope: The Power of Service Dogs for Children With Autism, streaming on Hulu beginning April 22

Rosie O'Donnell says she and her 12-year-old child Clay lived an isolated life for years.

"They would not leave the house," O'Donnell, 63, says of Clay, who is autistic and who identifies as non-binary. "They go into themselves in a way that is somewhat scary for the parent. They would come home from school and not want a play date. They like to be alone. It was me and Clay. And it got very isolating and very lonely."

Their restricted home life became almost routine — Clay would draw, create digital animations, watch YouTube shorts and "endless Reels," and rarely communicate, even with their mom, unless it involved their favorite show, Battle for Dream Island. ("I have become an expert at Battle for Dream Island," O'Donnell notes.)

But then O'Donnell sensed things were taking a more ominous turn: " I was afraid because Clay's drawings were getting darker and some of their thoughts were scaring me. Some of their pictures had bloody knives and talk of violence."

O'Donnell would check Clay's browsing history every night, so she knew they weren't coming across violence on the Internet, but "I just didn't know what was happening. I was like, 'Wait, wait, wait, wait. Don't float away from me. I was very, very afraid.'"

And then she received a suggestion from an unlikely friend — convicted murderer Lyle Menendez, who she came to know after he reached out to her when she posted a TikTok saying that she supported him and his brother Eric in their bid for freedom.

Lyle invited her to visit him in prison, where she was introduced to a program facilitated by the Guide Dogs of America that pairs inmates with a dog in training, and there she learned that the dogs would eventually be provided, without charge, to help people who are blind, veterans with PTSD — and families of children with autism.

At first, the actress was hesitant — the program required a parent to go through a 10-day in-person training and she was worried about leaving Clay: "I had never been away from Clay for 10 days." But with encouragement from Lyle, she set off for the training in February 2024, and while there, connected with other parents of autistic kids. "It was a very emotional bonding experience. It was one of the most cathartic things that I had ever done as an adult."

Two weeks later, she brought Kuma, a black lab, home. "I said, 'Okay, little Kuma, look at me, girl. We're going to go save this kid. Let's go.' And we went inside and her tail was wagging and they were loving each other."

Since then, "our life has changed irrevocably," O'Donnell says. "All of a sudden there was this connective force alive in the house between us. Things were starting to shift. I'd say to Clay, 'I'm going to go to the store and we have to bring Kuma because Kuma needs to practice her commands. Before, Clay would never go to the grocery store, but it was such a thrill for them take a dog."

Their world opened up. Clay, who suffers from ARFID (Avoid Resistance Food Intake Disorder) — "they only eat six things" — was willing to go out to eat, if Kuma was with them. "The dog would lay on Clay's feet or put her head on their lap, and Clay would able to have a meal with me. This was a new life for us.

And then O'Donnell, Clay and Kuma began another new chapter. After the election of President Donald Trump, O'Donnell says she decided she needed to leave the country, and they moved to Ireland. "It was something I needed to do for myself and for my child, and for my own sanity," who has four other adult children living in the U.S. "And it turned out to be even more wonderful than I expected."

Both Clay and Kuma are settling into their new home, O'Donnell says. "Clay did say to me about four weeks ago, 'Mom, it's better here.' They said, 'It's calmer, and you get to be a real person.' That's pretty profound, right?'"

Having Kuma with them helped with the transition. "I credit her with us being more physical. In Ireland, we walk everywhere — we have to take Kuma out for a walk," she says. "To be able to go for an hour walk with your kid and have them talk to you .... when we're walking and we're looking at the dog we can have conversations, not just about Battle For Dream Island, but about our life and our feelings. It opened up the world for us."

O'Donnell wants to help open the world for other families of autistic children too. Her new documentary Unleashing Hope: The Power of Service Dogs for Children With Autism, which begins streaming on Hulu April 22, tells their story with Kuma and the stories of other families connected with dogs through the GDA program.

"To find a treatment that works was revelatory," she says. "I wanted everyone to know that this is an option for you if you have an autistic child under the age of 12 — and it's free."

For their family, O'Donnell says, it's made everything better "There was a darkness and kind of a loneliness that is gone, and I credit Kuma with that," she says. "Clay laughs so much more."

The actress is also speaking out in response to Health and Human Services secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.'s remarks about autism, which O'Donnell calls "grossly uninformed." At an April 16 press conference, Kennedy said that autism "destroys families, and more importantly, it destroys our greatest resource, which is our children" and asserted that autistic kids "will never pay taxes. They'll never hold a job. They'll never play baseball. They'll never write a poem. They'll never go out on a date. Many of them will never use a toilet unassisted." 

O'Donnell wrote a poem in reply, which she posted to her Substack, calling Kennedy's comments "both harmful and hurtful/to the five million americans/currently living with autism/in the united states." The comedian said Clay has "added overwhelming joy/taught us all patience and compassion" and pointed out that Clay has "written poems/gone on dates/uses the bathroom unassisted" — and says baseball "bores" Clay to death.

She writes: "bobby kennedys idea of a life of value/ is pathetically sad/ immature and ignorant/he should be ashamed".