Law Roach Candidly Admits He's 'Still Figuring It Out' After Retiring from Celebrity Styling

Law Roach is still adjusting to retirement.

Three months after officially stepping away from celebrity styling, the image architect, 44, accepted the Innovation Award at Hollywood Unlocked's 3rd Annual Impact Awards, admitting in his speech that he’s still in the “figuring it out” stage of retirement.

“When I retired, people say that I was at the height of my career and I was so brave and so courageous to walk away from the success and all the money, but I woke up that day and I realized that I was broken,” Roach said during his speech on Tuesday. “I had done everything, won every award, did everything. Anything that you could think that was the definition of being successful, I had did it.”

One of the most successful, sought-after stylists in Hollywood before his recent retirement, Roach has curated looks for celebrities including Zendaya, Hunter Schafer, Megan Thee Stallion and Ariana Grande. Instead of his star-studded résumé, however, the Innovation Award winner reflected on his humble beginnings as an aspiring stylist in Los Angeles in his speech.

“I came to L.A. in 2014,” he said. “I didn't know anyone. Nobody gave me an internship. I was never anyone's assistant.”

Roach continued, “All I knew is that I wanted to be considered the best. And when they had conversations about who's the best and all these white women — ‘Oh, she's the best. She's the best’ — I knew that I wanted my name to be included in those conversations. And, by the grace of God and hard work and belief in myself, I achieved that.”

Roach said that his mistake as an aspiring image architect were forgetting to factor in his own happiness.

“I can tell you guys like, ‘Oh, you just got to believe in yourself and manifest it,’ and all that is true and all that is real, but I just want to beg you guys to be specific in your request,” he told the crowd. “So I did that. I was like, ‘I want to be the best. I want to be best. I want to make millions of dollars.’ I did all that, but what I didn't ask for is ‘While this success is coming, please bring me happiness.’”

He continued, “So I figured out that I didn't know how to be happy. I didn't know how to be healthy. I didn't know how to be whole. So when I figured all that, I said, ‘You know what? It's time to go. It's not serving me anymore.’"

"So that's what I chose to do," he added.

On navigating his retirement — which he announced in March via a since-deleted Instagram post — and learning what brings him joy, Roach said he still needs time: “I can't stand here and say, like, ‘Oh, I'm happy. I wake up happy, every day.’ No. I'm still figuring it out and that's okay.”

“We have to be honest with ourselves,” he continued. “And also be honest with the people around you, because if you're not honest and you lying and you pretend like everything's okay, the universe cannot bless you with what you need.”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

When he first shared his decision to leave the industry earlier this year, Roach cited “politics” and “lies” in his reasoning.

"My Cup is empty," Roach wrote. “Thank you to everyone who've supported me and my career over the years. Every person that trusted me with their image, I'm so grateful for you all.”

Roach continued, “If this business was just about the clothes I would do it for the rest of my life but unfortunately it's not! The politics, the lies and false narratives finally got me!”

“You win … I'm out," he finished.

But even though he's officially retired from his celebrity styling, he's continued to work with Zendaya, staying by her side as she continues her high-fashion style streak — both as her style guide and as her friend.