Hilaria Baldwin Admits She Was ‘Terrified’ She Would 'Kill’ Her Embryo If She Went Through IVF Again After ‘Traumatic Loss’

Hilaria Baldwin is opening up about her pregnancy journey.

In the latest episode of The Baldwins, the entrepreneur, 41, who shares her seven children with husband Alec Baldwin, candidly shared she was "terrified" she was "gonna kill" another embryo if she went through in vitro fertilization again.

After welcoming her first four children "pretty quickly," Hilaria experienced a miscarriage during her fifth pregnancy. After giving herself some time, she decided to try IVF. In the episode, Hilaria shared that everything seemed to be going well until around the fourth or fifth month when she lost the baby, noting that the loss was "hard" for her.

"It was one of the lowest I've ever felt," she admitted. "I didn't know what I was going to do."

“When I had my miscarriages, I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what the next steps were, and then I felt that it was important to open a door of possibilities,” she said. "Then moving forward, I had this other embryo, and I was terrified of having an IVF baby again after the traumatic loss that I had, my fear was that if I put her inside of me, I was gonna kill her.”

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The It's Complicated, 66, and the former yoga instructor share seven children together — welcoming their youngest, daughter Ilaria Catalina Irena, 2, in September 2022.

The couple, who tied the knot in 2012, share three daughters, Carmen Gabriela, 11, María Lucía Victoria, 4, and Ilaria, as well as four sons Rafael Thomas, 9, Leonardo Ángel Charles, 8, Romeo Alejandro David, 6, and Eduardo "Edu" Pao Lucas, 4. Baldwin is also dad to daughter Ireland Baldwin, 29, whom he shares with ex-wife Kim Basinger.

When the Baldwins confirmed exclusively with PEOPLE that they were expecting their seventh child, they spoke about having a big family.

"We have 'somos un buen equipo' engraved on our wedding bands. We say that to each other all the time at home — that we're a good team," the couple told PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. "One of the most beautiful things my children have experienced with a big family is how the heart can grow with every new sibling."

Hilaria has shared plenty of stories about the ups and downs of motherhood. The Mom Brain podcast co-host spoke with PEOPLE in October 2019 about her parenting style, her pregnancy and raising children with her husband.

Although she’s now a veteran mom, with the birth of her first child, daughter Carmen, Hilaria was anxious about becoming a mother.

“When I met Alec, he was very focused that he wanted kids. I was 27 — I knew I wanted kids but it wasn’t something I was thinking about right then,” she said. “I was like, ‘Am I going to like this?’ And I remember as soon as they put her on my chest after I pushed her out, I felt like, ‘I need to do this again.’ And we did.”

The Baldwins airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on TLC.