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Maddie Kay Photography; Chronicle Books
Author and doula Carson Meyer shares her take on childbirth in an exclusive essay for PEOPLE. All pregnancy and birthing decisions should be discussed with a healthcare professional. This essay reflects the author's opinion and should not be taken as medical advice.
When it comes to giving birth, there are so many misconceptions that can set us up for feeling afraid or powerless. Growing up I, like so many, held so much fear around birth because I was conditioned to believe it is a dreadful and dangerous event. We live in a culture where birth is viewed as a medical emergency, a misconception that leads to a disregard for physiological birth and higher rates of unnecessary intervention that can actually lead to greater risk and complications.
Cesarean rates in the United States are up from 6 percent in the 1970s to 32 percent in 2023. The World Health Organization states that a nationwide cesarean rate should be under 12% to reflect the proper use of this major surgery. The United States has the highest maternal mortality rate among developed countries, which is particularly high for Black women due to widespread racial bias. The United States government spends $1.2 billion annually on maternity care, and American families pay more to give birth than any other nation.
When I first saw the documentary, The Business of Being Born, it opened my eyes to the realities of our healthcare system and showed me just how beautiful birth can be. It is what propelled me on my path to becoming a doula at just 22 years old. Over the past decade supporting families through pregnancy, birth and postpartum, I have seen firsthand how parents taking the time to educate themselves and ask questions in preparation for birth sets them up for a healthy, empowered and positive experience.
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RNI Films
My book, Growing Together: Doula Wisdom and Holistic Practices for Pregnancy Birth and Early Motherhood, serves as a reminder that there is not a one-size-fits-all approach to birth and that you are the authority in making informed choices for you and your family.
Below are some of the most common misconceptions expecting mothers have about birth. I hope it helps dispel some myths and inspires further conversations and curiosity.
Misconception: Eating and Drinking in Labor Is Not Allowed
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Chronicle Books
Many women are led to believe that eating and drinking in labor is dangerous. In the United States, 60 percent of those who give birth without an epidural and 83 percent with an epidural are limited to just ice chips and clear fluids in the hospital. This policy is based on practices from the 1940s where mothers were often unconscious or put under “twilight sleep” to give birth. The risk of aspiration was also higher due to the lack of sophistication in anesthetics and surgical tools at the time.
Today, studies show that 95 percent of women choose to eat in labor if given the option. After all, labor can be long and proper nourishment during the process can help strengthen contractions (the uterus is mostly made of muscle tissue) and prevent exhaustion. Evidence has shown that unrestricted eating in labor results in shorter labors and higher maternal satisfaction, while restricting food can cause greater pain and stress. Some have no desire to eat in labor while others crave nutrients to keep them energized. The bottom line: you have the right to choose to eat and drink in labor.
Misconception: Continuous Fetal Monitoring Is Always Necessary and Beneficial
Continuous electronic fetal monitoring (EFM) during birth has become a routine and normalized part of the birth process in hospitals as a tool for monitoring a baby's heart rate. Continuous monitoring provides convenience for busy hospital staff. However, research shows that in low-risk pregnancies and unmedicated labors, continuously monitoring the baby is associated with an increase in Cesarean surgery and an increase in use of pain medications.
Being strapped to a monitor while in labor hinders your freedom of movement, which is essential for comfort, coping with the sensations of labor and encouraging optimal fetal positioning. If you plan to give birth without pain medication, continuous fetal monitoring makes it very challenging to do so. Requesting intermittent fetal monitoring with a hand-held doppler may require some advocating, but if you are low-risk and wanting to avoid an epidural, it will allow you more mobility to support the physiology of labor. Have this conversation with your provider prior to labor to ensure this is something the nursing staff can accommodate.
Misconception: A Big Baby Is a Reason for Early Induction or Cesarean
Expecting mothers are often warned by providers to induce early or opt out of labor altogether if there's any concern of having a “big baby.” Fetal weight in utero is measured using ultrasound. However, third trimester ultrasound has a margin of error of 15%-20% and half the time, the prediction of a big baby — or one who is born over 8 lbs. 13 oz. — is incorrect. We must remember that in labor, our bodies expand to accommodate the process, and there is no way of knowing how the birth will unfold. You should be given every opportunity to labor and birth how you choose.
Misconception: Water Birth Is Risky
Water has been used as a method of pain relief for centuries, and several studies have shown that a water birth is associated with faster labor, less complicated births, lower likelihood of induction and Cesarean and decreased risk of severe tearing and postpartum hemorrhage. Studies have also shown lower rates of respiratory distress and hospitalization for babies compared to those born on land at home. Whether or not you plan to give birth in the water, utilizing water can work wonders as a natural pain reliever. Most labor and delivery rooms have showers, and if you’re lucky, your hospital room will have a bathtub too. This is less common, but something to ask about if you are planning to have an unmedicated birth in the hospital.
Misconception: Everyone Poops During Labor
If you have been worried about the prospect of pooping in labor, you’re not alone. Yes, pooping in labor is very common, totally normal and nothing to be ashamed of. As your baby descends into the birth canal, they push onto your bowels and together with your pushing efforts, this can lead to a bowel movement. Pooping while you push is indicative of good progress! Not everyone poops, but most do, and frankly, you probably won’t ever know you did.
Misconception: You Have to Wear Hospital Gown
If you’re giving birth in a hospital, you will be in the only unit in that hospital that is not dedicated to treating illness and emergencies. The labor and delivery unit is the only part of the hospital full of healthy people celebrating the best day of their life! For many people, hospital gowns are symbolic of sickness. You are walking into your most powerful day, so dress for the occasion. Pack your own comfortable clothing to wear during labor and delivery. You can also opt for a robe, button-down shirt, sports bra or just your birthday suit. Don’t forget cozy socks or slippers.
Misconception: You Have to Stretch Your Perineum Prior to Birth to Prevent Tearing
There is a lot of buzz about perenial massage techniques and stretching devices marketed to pregnant women to prepare their bodies for birth. Our bodies are designed for birth and when the physiological process is supported, the slow and gradual emerging of your baby’s head will do its job of stretching your perineum during birth. It is not something you have to actively train or prepare your vagina for. For some, these techniques can feel helpful as part of your mental preparation, but they should never cause physical pain or discomfort. Growing Together, includes a chapter with pelvic floor exercises to prepare for birth. Addressing any tension in the pelvic floor is far more valuable than any stretching or massaging of the perennial tissues.
Your greatest protection against severe tearing is a provider with a low episiotomy rate. An episiotomy, in which the perineum is cut with scissors, often results in more severe tearing and damage.Have a conversation with your doctor or midwife prior to birth and find out how and whether they utilize this procedure, if at all. Your provider should be willing to be patient and refrain from directing you to push against your instincts or intervening unnecessarily. Ample skin elasticity will support your perineum too. As you prepare for birth, up your intake of collagen-rich foods such as bone broth, fish, beef and eggs. You will also want to prioritize fruits and veggies like broccoli, peppers, Brussel sprouts and berries, high in Vitamin C. Vitamin C helps support collagen synthesis. You can also apply pure vitamin E oil to the perineum daily for greater hydration.
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Maddie Kay Photography
Misconception: Doulas Are Just for Home Births
The role of a doula is often misunderstood. Many people assume that doula support is only for a certain type of mom or one who wants to have a natural birth. The truth is, doulas can benefit everyone no matter where and how you choose to give birth! Doulas support mothers at home and in the hospital (with and without an epidural). Doula support is rooted in honoring the individual desires of the mother, offering resources and education through pregnancy, providing emotional support, comfort measures throughout labor and helping parents navigate the many choices they have to make. Having a birth doula is associated with better birth outcomes for mom and babies including higher apgar scores, vaginal birth rate and reports of maternal satisfaction.
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Carson Meyer is a doula who has helped hundreds of parents through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum, offering resources, education, and support for a home or hospital birth. Her first book, Growing Together: Doula Wisdom & Holistic Practices for Pregnancy, Birth, & Early Motherhood is on sale everywhere books are sold.